FATHERS' DAY!!

Today is the 21st of June 2015, and as I scroll down my Facebook news feed, I see the social network site flooded with pictures of fathers posted with lots of grateful words. For once, it feels real, all those things posted on people's wall (funny how a virtually existent, intangible thing is given such a tangible name). Anyway, unlike most days when girls would post photos with one of their numerous "besties" (yes, such a word exists now - check the Oxford dictionary), reading through these words of how much their fathers mean to them feels more genuine. And even the smiles on their faces or the moments captured by those photos taken way back during an era when cameras were few and far between, when the word "selfie" was not conceived of yet and when pictures actually captured moments, and weren't taken in a whim of boredom or deleted just as easily, these pictures are much more beautiful (and real). 

Truth be told, I didn't know it is was Fathers' Day today, and I'm not sure if the majority of those who have posted these pictures did either or simply joined the bandwagon after seeing someone or a few of their friends do it, who in turn possibly might have done the same mindless mimicking themselves. I like to pretend I am smarter than most people, so I quickly Googled (another real word) it up and began reading a page on the ever informative Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Turns out, it is unofficially Fathers' Day in some countries where it is observed on the 3rd Sunday of June (I never understood why people kept some days - important ones at that like Friendship Day & today - on such ambiguously defined days? Why not have a specific day like the usual World Health Day (7th April), International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women (25th November) or the likes of it? That's besides the point anyhow. Like I was saying, it could be said to that is Fathers' Day today – fathers play such an important role in our lives, we could have it every month. So did I post something on my "wall" too? No, I didn't! Why not? Well, firstly because I once again wanted to feel smarter than others and not simply do what the masses had done. Secondly, and more importantly, because I thought of my father, and what he might  have said. 

I often find it odd to discover the Facebook accounts of older people, especially my relatives like uncles, aunts, grand uncles and grand aunts. To think they are Facebooking (again a completely valid, meaningful word), it just boggles my mind. To my ignorant and narrowly-thinking mind, Facebook has come to be associated with the younger generation. A sort of platform of young, lost souls to feel "connected" where they clutter up their lives with useless chatter in the name of posts, which are mostly nothing more than cries of exaggerated hopelessness, despair or happiness in their desperate bid to gain some attention while others feast on these spicy, juicy stories as a form of entertainment, or with endless "chats" (rightly termed I think) with hardly any meaningful, true conversation. Do not get me wrong, I am not simply accusing others of such follies, if anything I too am guilty of having committed them. Nor do I think Facebook or any other social networking site is utterly useless (funnily I met the love of my life through it). I'm not even against adults having Facebook profiles. I'm simply pouring out my honest thoughts on some days when I reflect on what we are actually doing on Facebook. But to continue my earlier discussion, I find adults having Facebook profiles odd because to me it (FB that is) has come to symbolize a sort of platform for the immature, youngsters who are still trying to discover who they are, trying to feel less lonely or insecure by counting all those "Likes" on their statuses, profile pictures or cover photos. And I always thought adults are very different from us in that sense; I know that it is a naive thought but it is an enduring one which I find hard to get rid of despite much pondering over it. It is further reinforced by the fact that my father himself does not have a Facebook account (now you know why I'm so heavily biased against adults having FB accounts). 

On Fathers' Day, I didn't post anything about my father or change my cover photo or profile picture having him in it. I didn't even wish him. I simply closed my eyes and thanked God (as a Buddhist there really is no point in it since we don't believe in a single God or creator per se). Nonetheless I expressed my gratitude. (Of course, I'm writing this article besides praying, some might argue). So why didn't I, the original question is still unanswered. Even if I had, my father wouldn't see it since he isn't on FB. So what's the point of writing it so publicly when all except the one person I want to convey how much he means to me can see it? But I guess that is the point nowadays, isn't it? Instead of a real conservation over a phone call, or better still, a visit in person to our loved ones, we post it publicly on their FB walls for all to see. Instead of enjoying the moment with the person we care for, we are busy trying to get  the best shot on our front cameras for a selfie (or Wefie - another nearly real word) to be later posted on FB! So while we are together, we talk less, instead we chat with someone else eagerly bent in front of those tiny screens, and later post a photo with big smiles on and write a few lines on what a wonderful time we had together (can't imagine a greater irony)! So for once I thought I needn't let the whole world know what I felt through FB, how much I loved my father in this case. But why didn't I message him directly then? Well, you see I don't even wish my father on his birthday. No, there is no tragic past or a flashback of father-son rivalry or anything like that found in a typical movie script. It's just that in our culture, we don't do such things. We don't say "I love you dad", or "I miss you dad" or "Thank you for everything", we simply don't. That is why we don't have words in my mother tongue that express these things. "I love you" only denotes a romantic sense in my mother tongue, nothing else, so certainly sons don't say it to fathers. We express it it differently, or rather silently I suppose. Me, for instance, I express it by speaking to him respectfully, that is perhaps why we have special respectful words that are used specially for elders in our language. These verbal expressions and these special days are a Western phenomenon which I find difficult to embrace with my father. Perhaps my son (yet unborn) may say such things to me some day and I may find it perfectly normal but I don't seem to be at ease saying it to my father yet. Of course, if I had mentioned to my dear Appa (father), he probably would have said, in his usual calm expression, “So what?”

So on Fathers' Day, I am writing my very first article for my blog, dedicating it to my father, to let him know that he is my idol, my inspiration and my hero.

To all fathers, who are heroes to their children - CHEERS!